Sharing is Caring

I'm far from proud of much of my postpartum behavior - at least in relation to my actions towards my daughter. Though I'm not anxious to shout my misdeeds from the rooftops, there has been a great deal of liberation in sharing my feelings and resulting actions with friends (as well as my therapist and psychiatrist). I don't want to hide. I don't want to whisper in secret. I don't want to be a downer, either, but I want to be able to openly share what MY experience with motherhood has been - and it has been far from rosy. I was just so sidelined by some of the feelings I have experienced that it made me wonder why these issues are not discussed more openly BEFORE one has children.

Writing just to write

Jumping into the ocean... I have to start somewhere, right? Spurred on to write about my experience of becoming a mother because it has been - and continues to be - a crazier ride than I ever could have bargained for.

I don't remember ever having strong feelings about having children. I think having kids was a foregone conclusion, but I don't recall putting detailed thought into it the way I did when I imagined my wedding or my career.