I found myself unable to look away from an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras this afternoon. It started as mild amusement and my inner looky-loo saying, "Ooh, look at the freaks!" But it really got me thinking... And it REALLY got me angry.
How is this whole child pageant thing not considered child abuse? In TV, there are strict rules in place about child performers. Sure, there are still crazy stage moms, but there are rules for children who are working. And, yes, a lot about acting (especially in film and TV) is about appearance, but in pageantry the MAIN FOCUS is appearance. They claim it's also about the kids' personalities, but who are we kidding? These people spend tens of thousands of dollars on wardrobe, hair (WIGS) and make-up (including spray tanning), coaches, blah, blah, blah - NONE of that is about personality.
The mother of "Pageant Superstar" Eden Wood spends an awful lot of time insisting that she only does this because her daughter (who is currently FIVE and has been involved in modelling and pageants since she was 18 months old) wants to. A few quick points: NO 18 month old voluntarily involves themselves in modelling and pageantry; Eden's mother is clearly an attention whore who swept in and lifted Eden in a huge circle on stage after she won a title right at her crowning moment and then proceeded to run hooting and hollering throughout the audience; Eden's mother is clearly passing on her desperate and grotesque need for attention to her daughter who announces at every opportunity that she is a "Pageant Superstar" who LOVES doing what she does. Of course you do, sweetheart. What little kid wouldn't love being showered with praise and attention, constantly doted on and made the center of attention? Kids already think the world revolves around them, and now this little girl's world DOES revolve around her. God forbid she ever decides to pursue anything in life outside of this warped little world.
How do these parents not realize what they are doing to their kids? I know, I know, how can I judge? I'm certainly far from a perfect parent and I'm sure these women would have an earful for how I treat my daughter ("How can you let her chew on that SHOE???"). I know we are all doomed to pass on our issues to our kids. But seriously. SERIOUSLY. When your kid is kicking and screaming at every turn and you are spending all this time and money to drag them to pageants and your kid is THREE FUCKING YEARS OLD and you're doing it because YOU did it in your youth - YOU SUCK AS A MOM. There. I said it. These women are NOT doing the right thing for their kids. At all.
But the bulk of the blame can't even lie with these parents (who are mostly the moms). Granted, after watching just one episode, I can hardly be an expert, but let me tell you where much deserved blame lies: THE PAGEANT DIRECTORS AND AGENTS. They are manipulative - of the children, the parents, and the entire situation. They create the structure within which all of these parents and kids live where they feel they need to measure up. It is grotesque. The women all gush over how BEAUTIFUL their daughters are. Of course your kid is beautiful (if only to you), and that's wonderful. But what are you teaching them about the world and about themselves when you place so much value on appearance?
Maybe I'm very wrong. Maybe these pageants teach kids about how to lose. About having confidence and believing in yourself. I was never in pageants and I still grew up with a miserable perception of myself and let my self-worth come from what I perceived other people thought of me - ESPECIALLY when it came to my appearance. I didn't think I was pretty - in fact, I KNEW I wasn't pretty - so I learned to be funny (or at least to try to use humor). It didn't necessarily make me a better or happier person.
I am truly interested to see where all of these kids end up in 10 years or so. Some of them may indeed follow their mothers' dreams and footsteps and become successful pageant queens and be totally happy. Some will absolutely have major behavioral issues and need therapy for years and years to come. Which majority will rule? Reality TV certainly will not help - adding more fuel to the attention-seeking fire. Eden (AT FIVE) has been on TV, in magazines, has her own DOLL - all because she's PRETTY, CUTE, and does whatever her mom tells her to (on stage, anyway). There will always be people at every turn waiting to take a piece of her to turn it for a profit. And when they're done with her, there are dozens of other TV shows that will be waiting to feed off the scraps: Intervention, Where Are They Now?, Celebrity Rehab (and a billion others that will come and go in the next 10 years or so).
